The Loo Review

If I believed in a benevolent omniscient omnipotent being, I’d thank him or her heartily for this wonderful bathroom. Somehow, despite being in a public park, this 2-stall loo manages to be clean (more or less, leaning toward more) stocked with toilet paper, a sink, soap, and paper towels. In an agnostic world it’s hard to know who to thank for this miracle, except for maybe the people who run the really nice little outdoor cafe adjacent to said wonderful bathroom. In fact, I have only one complaint about this bathroom: it’s only open during the summer, like the cafe. Hear my plea, Mister or Ms Park Tender, give us our delightful facilities year round. Please?

If I didn’t mind pee all over the seat, this would be one fine multi-stall loo in this multi-screen moo-vie theater. However, I do mind pee all over toilet seats, and so despite the ample amounts of TP provided by the good people of the Loews Cineplex on 84th and B’Way, I give this bathroom a hearty YUCK.